I am curious what others take are on this situation. I’ve been together with my 32m partner for almost five years. We both come from two extremely different upbringings. I have had a very rocky childhood, abandonment, etc. He comes from a family that is very privileged and quite plainly, he hasn’t had to know hardship. This is relevant for context.

I was recently asked to temporarily take kinship of my little brother who has just been placed in foster care due to unsafe living conditions. Obviously, CAS wants to place him with family instead of further traumatizing him and keeping him in a foster situation. Note that there are no other family members. Naturally, I didn’t think twice about it. He’s a child and I couldn’t sleep with myself if I left him in this type of situation, especially because I have my own experience in this situation and know how it impacts you.

I brought this up with my partner and he’s been saying he is uncomfortable about this, he doesn’t want the house to be a mess, he likes his quiet, this disrupts our plans for the future, blah blah blah. I’m not discounting his feelings or hesitations as I know this is a huge life altering situation. What I want to know is:

AITAH if he says no, I am not comfortable with this, that I choose my brother over this and move out? I am trying to be understanding but truthfully think it’s selfish that little things like the house possibly being a mess are even being brought up. I’ve read so many articles saying to choose your spouse over family but I think this is not applicable to a situation like this.

I would appreciate any advice! TY